The Problem with Perfectionism: Why It Hurts and How to Overcome It
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do things well or wanting to put your best foot forward. However, there’s a big difference between having high standards and expecting things to be absolutely perfect like we see in perfectionism.
Perfectionism might seem like a virtue, but it can be someone’s downfall since it’s something that can’t be achieved. When you strive for nothing less than perfection and it negatively impacts your life when things aren’t perfect, you’re facing a problem.
If you let the desire for a perfect life take control of your mindset, it could end up trapping you, and even hurting you. Let’s look at a few reasons perfectionism can be problematic, and how you can overcome it.
It Hinders Productivity
This might come as a surprise to some perfectionists, but your expectations are holding you back when it comes to your work. Perfectionism often makes your fear of failure much higher. Unfortunately, that can cause you to procrastinate because you’re worried about what will happen once you get started.
If you’ve ever found yourself missing a deadline because your final project wasn’t perfect, or you didn’t end up doing as much as you should because you were stressing over quality, it’s your perfectionism that’s the problem. As you might expect, this can have a negative impact on your career.
It Can Cause Mental and Physical Health Problems
Perfectionism can cause excess stress. That often leads to symptoms of anxiety or depression and can wreak havoc on your mental health. It can also lead to self-doubt. You might get involved with fewer things because you don’t think you’re “good enough” at them.
Those feelings of doubt can impact your self-esteem and make you forget about self-care. Not taking care of yourself properly will end up affecting your physical health as well.
It Can Impact Your Relationships
When you’re a perfectionist, you’re not just critical of yourself. It’s not uncommon to be overly critical of others too. That includes people you care about. You might blow up over your partner folding laundry the “wrong way,” or you might be angry with a friend for being late to a gathering.
At the same time, if anyone calls you out on your “less than perfect” actions, you’re likely to get defensive, which can trigger an argument. It doesn’t take much to see how this way of thinking can damage your relationships.
What Can You Do?
Perfectionism can be a hard thing to overcome. That’s especially true if you’ve been dealing with it for years. However, it’s not impossible to change these attitudes if you’re ready and willing to do the work involved.
The best thing you can do is recognize your negative thought patterns. When you see yourself falling into perfectionism traps, you can pause and choose to let those thoughts go. It’s a conscious choice to let yourself off the hook of perfectionism. You might have to do this many times a day, but it will get easier each time you do. It’s all about perspective and your willingness to change how you see things.
Second, try to avoid having an “all or nothing” attitude. Having the belief that if something isn’t perfect it is a failure is an example of this type of thinking. This type of thinking leads to having standards that no one can meet.
Begin therapy for perfectionism in Duluth, GA
You don’t have to keep struggling with perfectionism on your own. Counseling can help you move forward and reduce your anxiety. To start your therapy journey, follow these simple steps:
Click this Contact Me link.
Book a free, 15 minute phone consultation with me to talk more about what you are looking for from therapy and to ask me any questions you have for me about the process.
Schedule your first therapy session to start learning how to overcome your perfectionism.
Other services available from Ginny Kington, Psy.D.
Anxiety therapy isn’t the only mental health service I provide. Oftentimes, if you are struggling with anxiety, it is related to going through a traumatic event or struggling with a chronic illness. Anxiety often is accompanied by feelings of depression, or may be related to recently becoming a new parent. Therapeutic services are available in all of these areas. I am able to provide these services in my office in Duluth, Georgia or online in the following states: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Washington DC, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, and Wisconsin.
